Ryou The Lawn Gnome Slayer!
by midnightwarrior1
Summary: This is what once used to be called 'The Collection of Stupid Tales". It's changed a little bit. Ryou is appointed as a Lawn Gnome Slayer, can he handle it? Will the Lawn Gnomes take over the world? Please R&R! I'm really hoping this idea hasn't been used
1. The Attack of the Lawn Gnome!

Midnight: Hello all! A new little fic here.  
  
Muse: It's just a collection of stupid stuff...  
  
Midnight:...very stupid....  
  
Muse: Please enjoy the stupidity!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
What a beautiful day in Domino city. The sun was shining, the grass was green and the birds chirped happily. ho would have ever thought that utter chaos would find four of the city's teenagers, and end in the most stupid thing you've seen in your life? Well, let's see what exactly happened.  
  
~*~  
  
Joey, Tristan, Yugi, and Ryou all sat on the couch of the Mouto residence. They were all very bored.  
  
Joey: Wanna go chase squirrels?  
  
They all looked at each other strangely and continued sitting there.  
  
Joey: Why don't we just go outside, I'm sure we'll find something to do...  
  
They all got up without a word and stood outside. They moved out into the yard. There were all kinds of statues and things around the yard. Grandpa enjoyed collecting such things. One thing though, caught they're eyes.  
  
Tristan: Uhhh, Yugi? What is that ugly Keebler elf doing in your yard?? (I DON'T OWN THE KEEBLER ELVES EITHER!!!)  
  
Ryou stared at it strangely while Joey kneeled down to get a closer look.  
  
Yugi: Tristan. It's a lawn gnome! And it's Grandpa's!  
  
Joey knocked on its head, breaking it off.  
  
Joey: Uhhh, whoops...  
  
Joey scratched his head sheepishly.  
  
Ryou: Nice going Joey, now it looks worse than before...  
  
Yugi: Maybe going outside wasn't such a good idea...Let's go somewhere else...  
  
Everyone: Ok!!  
  
They all walked out of Yugi's yard.  
  
~*~  
  
Grandpa walked outside into his yard to check on his new flower garden. He got out his watering can thing and began to water the flowers, but he noticed something wrong with his Lawn Gnome.  
  
Grandpa: Awww, Mr. Lawn Gnome, somebody knocked off your hat, that's ok. I'll glue it back on!  
  
Grandpa took it back inside and glued his hat back on. While Grandpa was putting the glue away, the lawn gnome's eyes started glowing red and it's arms and legs began to move.  
  
Grandpa got back to the table where he had left the lawn gnome, but it was gone.  
  
~*~  
  
Tristan: Mmmm, this ice cream is gooooooood!  
  
Yugi: I'm glad you like them, between you and Joey you've gotten sixteen!!  
  
Ryou: So Yugi, what about the lawn gnome?  
  
Joey: Yeah, that little demon lost his hat! Your Grandpa's gonna kill me!  
  
Yugi: No he won't, he'll buy a new one. He gets some monthly catalogue for lawn gnomes. He collects them now...  
  
Joey: Don't you think that's a little strange?  
  
Yugi: What ever makes him happy....  
  
Ryou: Let's go back home, it's getting late.  
  
They all began to walk back to Yugi's house. When they got there, they were greeted by someone that they didn't expect.  
  
Lawn Gnome: Mwahaha, back so soon?  
  
Ryou: What. The. Heck???  
  
Joey: IT'S THE LAWN DEMON!!!!!!!!  
  
Tristan: but my counselor told me that inanimate objects couldn't talk!!!!  
  
Lawn Gnome: Obviously your counselor was wrong, mwahahaha!  
  
Yugi: GRANDPA!!!!!!!!  
  
Lawn Gnome: Your Grandpa is a little... 'tied up' at the moment...*laughs insanely* Now you shall die!!!  
  
The lawn gnome began to hop towards them.  
  
Joey: RUM!!!  
  
Tristan: WHERE??  
  
Yugi: he meant RUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!  
  
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
They all began to run as the lawn gnome chased them. Ryou turned back and noticed that red lights were flying around.  
  
Ryou: IT'S SHOOTING LASERS!!!!!  
  
The lawn gnome got closer and closer, it shot it's lasers at them.  
  
Tristan: JOEY! LOOK OUT!!!  
  
Joey was hit. Tristan bent down to see him.  
  
Tristan: Joey? Are you all right????  
  
Joey: *cough* I don't think I'm going to make it....*cough cough *  
  
Joey passed out.  
  
Tristan: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! WHHHYYYYYYY?????  
  
The lawn gnome caught up to him and smothered him with his....lawn gnome- ness....  
  
Yugi: TRISTAN!!! JOEY!!!!  
  
Ryou: KEEP RUNNING YUGI!!!!!!!!!  
  
They kept running down the street until they found a ladder that led up to a roof. They climbed the ladder. They ran to the end of the building and looked down.  
  
Ryou: Now what???  
  
Yugi: Iduuno...  
  
A strange tapping noise was coming from behind them. It got louder and louder. They both turned around.  
  
Lawn Gnome: I found you!!  
  
The gnome jumped and knocked Yugi off the building.  
  
Ryou: YUGI!!!!!  
  
Lawn Gnome: Hahahaha! All of your little friends are gone, now what will you do?  
  
Ryou: KILL YOU!  
  
Ryou picked up the lawn gnome and poked it's eyes.  
  
Lawn Gnome: AHHHHHHH!!! IT HURTSES!! IT HURTSES!!!!!!!  
  
The lawn gnome fell to the ground and shriveled up. Then it turned into dust and blew in the wind.  
  
Ryou looked over the building where Yugi fell. He saw hands coming up the building and Yugi crawled up.  
  
Ryou: Yugi! You're all right!!  
  
Yugi: Yeah, the building is only 6 feet high...  
  
Ryou: I'm not even going to ask what the heck we were thinking or why the heck anyone would use a ladder to get up here.....  
  
Yugi: Good plan.  
  
Joey and Tristan found the two.  
  
Yugi: You guys are alive!!  
  
Joey: Yeah, what happened to the lawn gnome?  
  
Ryou: It's gone...  
  
Tristan: Thank God...  
  
Yugi: So, what ever happened to Grandpa?  
  
~*Back at Grandpa's House*~  
  
Grandpa: YUGI! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Midnight: There was the first stupid chapter...  
  
Muse: Please review!! 


	2. Ryou Officially Becomes a Slayer of Lawn...

Midnight: After reading the first chapter...I didn't want to continue it, but then I got a new idea: Ryou the Lawn Gnome Slayer! Mwahaha!  
  
Muse: See? Mountain Dew should be illegal! ILLEGAL!  
  
Midnight: What? I don't seem to be hyper or anything....do I?  
  
Muse: I suppose not.  
  
Midnight: takes another sip On to da disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh or Buffy the Vampire Slayer or anything...REALLY!  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
After the encounter, Ryou realized he'd been blessed with a gift, the gift of slaying lawn gnomes. His realization had been confirmed though later that night. After being in his home, watching television, he decided to go outside to get some fresh air. He sat on his porch and looked at the stars, one star seemed to catch his eye though, it was much brighter than the rest, and even stranger, it kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger until BAM!  
  
A glowing....thing...was on his porch.  
  
Glowing Thing: Hello Ryou.  
  
Ryou got up, terrified.  
  
Ryou: What...errr..who..are you?  
  
Glowing Thing: Hold on a sec....let me turn off my gigantic lantern....Ok, much better.  
  
Ryou: Well, who are you?  
  
The once glowing person rolled its eyes.  
  
Thing: I'm Glowy, I've come to tell you something...  
  
Ryou looked at Glowy strangely.  
  
Ryou: How'd you get the name?  
  
Glowy rolled her eyes again.  
  
Glowy: I like to collect things that are bright and things that glow.  
  
Glowy pulls out the glow sticks in her pocket.  
  
Ryou: Ohhh..  
  
Glowy: I saw you slay that lawn gnome, not anyone could do that. It takes talent, courage, and intelligence to do such a task.  
  
Ryou: Thank you!  
  
Glowy: No, that's why I'm so amazed that you actually killed it, I still can't figure out why...  
  
Ryou: Oh, thanks.....  
  
Glowy: Lately the Lawn Gnome world has been getting out of hand, they've created an underground gang to take over the real world. That's where you come in!  
  
Ryou stared at her.  
  
Glowy: I'm appointing you as an official Lawn Gnome Slayer!  
  
Ryou stared at her still, with his mouth wide open.  
  
Ryou: Me? A Lawn Gnome Slayer? What's in it for me?  
  
Glowy walked closer to him.  
  
Glowy: Nothing...unless you'd like to see the destruction of earth...  
  
Ryou laughed.  
  
Ryou: Lawn Gnomes? Destroying the earth? Please, that's just crazy!  
  
Glowy: No it's not...  
  
Ryou: Whatever, I'll be a little Lawn Gnome Slayer....  
  
Glowy: Alright then! Here's your official Lawn Gnome Slaying Steak!  
  
Glowy hands him a nice piece of meat.  
  
Ryou looked puzzled.  
  
Ryou: How do I use this?  
  
Glowy: Just slap their hats off with it and poof, they're gone!  
  
Ryou: Sounds simple enough.  
  
Glowy: That's what you think...  
  
With that, she disappeared, leaving Ryou with a cold steak in his hand.  
  
Ryou's journey as a Lawn Gnome Slayer had officially began, and his life would never be the same.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
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Midnight: How interesting...please review! 


End file.
